Expectations

“This one says this, that one says that.”  What a perfect time to attack; yes, I mean attack the subject of expectations.

How far are we supposed to go to try to meet the expectations of others? How responsible are we for other people’s misunderstanding?

When we speak to each other should we be so worried about how they will perceive something we say that we wind up saying nothing? Are we supposed to be all things to everyone?

While I am all for not purposefully hurting others with careless speaking, judging or condemning, do we really expect to develop deep meaningful relationships by listening with only one ear open and jumping to conclusions?

I hear people screaming about including everyone at all times in all things.

It takes time to know a person’s heart.

We judge so quickly and harshly about a person’s tone of voice, body language and other outside signs then we refuse to take a moment to listen to what the other person is  really saying. There is a difference between taking an offense and trying to talk through what was meant on both sides.

The person who is being apologized to says “ I am okay.” But are they really?,

If they don’t acknowledge that there are two sides needed to make an argument or a disagreement chances are they only want you to go away.

“I AM OKAY” is not an appropriate response to someone who is genuinely sorry for  a misunderstanding. Or maybe it is part of an appropriate response, the other part being,   “ Are you also okay?”

It used to be called “Fair fighting.” I think. Things are so different  now. If someone is offended, is it the right thing to do to have them confront the offender and tell them ? Maybe the offender meant nothing of the  kind, Everyone hears thru their own filters.What your belief system dictates what you believe. Perception may be that individual’s truth but it is not necessarily factual.

I feel the only way a misunderstanding can be resolved at the deepest level is for each person who is involved to be willing to be scrupulously honest and open about how each feels and be willing to shed all pretense and self promotion to listen to the other.

For example: “What did you mean by that? Sorry, I did not know that you had such a sensitivity to that word, spoken in that way.”

Time, repeated open communication, always ready to give the individual the right to speak their own language.

No name calling or assigning of motivation.

Clear and concise rules and regulations

Respect does not take agreement, but  it does make allowances.

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